A Dark Horse Page 23

“No more apologies, Ella. I told you that already. Nothing that happened was your fault. And I didn’t mention my screwed-up family’s reaction to Josh’s death so you’d feel guilty. I mentioned it because I don’t think I’m the right person to ask what a normal reaction to any of this should be,” she said, making air quotes around normal before she shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself in comfort.

  Adele shifted and leaned sideways so she could bump her shoulder against Natalie’s. Natalie smelled like Ivory Soap, and Adele inhaled the clean scent with pleasure. “You could talk about him to me, if you like. About Josh, I mean. Anytime.”

  Natalie’s face brightened at the offer. “That would be…great. I’d love that, Ella.”

  “Me too.”

  Natalie’s warmly indulgent smile caused Adele’s insides to melt. She wondered self-consciously if some of the budding affection she felt for the professor was showing plainly on her face. When Natalie’s grin grew, she was certain she’d been found out, but after another deep look into intense, soulful blue eyes she found herself unable to care.

  Natalie had swept her hair up into a loose ponytail and the light from the fireplace brought out her reddish highlights. Adele stared. Mesmerized like a treasure hunter gazing directly into a pot of gold, Adele lifted her hand to reach out and touch it before she caught herself and let her hand fall awkwardly to the back of the sofa.

  The silence between them grew. Adele tore her gaze away from Natalie long enough for her mind to replay the events of the evening. “Six months isn’t very long when it comes to beating heroin, and Kurt waffled pretty quickly when it came to whether the drugs the police found were Misty’s. Misty was scared and worried about going to the cops about Josh. If she was afraid of being arrested, that might have been enough to send her into a tailspin and start her using again.”

  Natalie scrunched up her face. “Do you really believe that?”

  Points for perceptiveness. “My gut tells me no. I think by the time Misty got up the nerve to call you, she’d already made her decision to go forward. Meaning, most of her soul-searching would have already happened.”

  Adele absently picked at the back of the sofa as she spoke. “And I don’t believe a drug dealer showed up out of pure coincidence on the day you were to arrive and managed to inject Misty with a fatal dose of heroin all while not leaving a mark on her. Dealers can be ruthless, and sometimes they kill on a whim. But getting away with this sort of murder would require planning and smarts. It doesn’t make sense to waste this much effort on a petty mule or user, even if she was filching a little product. Bullets are cheap and plentiful, and a knife in the kidney is free.”

  Adele hated to say the next part, even though it was the truth. “Short of a witness coming out of the woodwork, I don’t think we’re going to ever know what happened to Misty on her last day.”

  Natalie wrung her hands. “Should I have told her to just forget what she saw the night Josh was killed and move on with her life?” she asked a little desperately. “I encouraged her even when she was terrified.”

  Adele’s chest twisted with sympathy. She was intimately aware of the damage that regret could do. “Don’t even go there.”

  Natalie swallowed hard. “But—”

  Adele reached out and gently squeezed Natalie’s arm. “Just don’t.”

  Natalie pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded. “Okay. I’ll try.”

  Adele didn’t like the guilty set of Natalie’s shoulders so she drew her attention to something else. “Our next step tomorrow is tracking down Billy Hobson, Morrell’s rookie partner at the time of Josh’s murder. If we can’t work backward from Misty, we’ll work forward from that night.”

  Still appearing as if at least a portion of the weight of the world was on her shoulders, Natalie allowed herself to be distracted. “Is he still Morrell’s partner?”

  Adele didn’t bother to remove her hand from Natalie’s arm. She liked it right where it was. “He quit the force not long after the PIB investigation went into full swing. I have no idea why and no idea where he is today. But we’re going to use one of the best tools I had at my disposal as a cop to find him.”

  Curious, Natalie leaned forward a little. “Informants?”

  “Google.”

  Natalie grudgingly chuckled. “That I can actually help you with. And that reminds me, I, uh, I’m sorry I nearly jumped off the porch tonight. I don’t much like drunks. They’re unpredictable, and they scare me. Thank goodness he wasn’t actually on drugs. I think I underestimated how frightening that would be. Next time you tell me to wait in the car, I’ll take it under advisement.”

  “Advisement?” The corner of Adele’s mouth quirked.

  Natalie lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t want me to lie about it, do you? For some reason, on this trip I’m finding myself tired of doing what I should do and opting for what I want to do instead.”

  “Mmm…sounds like an intoxicating sort of freedom.”

  “That’s the problem. It is.”

  Adele untucked her bad leg from beneath her and stretched it out with a groan. If it hadn’t been so late she’d have taken a long hot soak in the tub to relieve some soreness instead of a shower. “S’okay, about being spooked by drunks, you know. They scare me too.”

  “You didn’t look scared.”

  “I was.”

  “I seem to recall you putting yourself between Kurt and me almost from the second he opened the door.”

  “Well,” Adele admitted, “he was obviously smitten the moment he laid eyes on you. As far as drunks go, he really wasn’t very freaky, which is why I left you alone for two minutes. I’m sorry about that, and I swear I wouldn’t have if I believed you were in danger.”

  “You’re not a bad actress.” Natalie shook her head in disbelief. “For a minute I believed we were going to have to leave so you could find a restroom!”

  Adele shrugged one shoulder. “I needed to get inside that house. But the whole evening still felt…it was odd.” She shook her head. “It’s been a while since I’ve questioned anyone, you know?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “Just talking to him, it made me excited, but uneasy too. I dunno. I suppose I’m rusty.”

  “You knew just what to ask, Ella. It’s obvious to me that you’re so very good at investigating, whether you’re actually a detective or not. But maybe you’re a little gun-shy?” Natalie laid her free hand on top of the one resting on her arm. “You’d have every right to be.”

  “Don’t you mean knife-shy?” Adele joked weakly, regretting her words as they left her mouth.

  Natalie didn’t even crack a smile. “So why did you step between Kurt and me?”

  Adele shifted uneasily and focused on their touching hands. “I didn’t plan it. I just did it. Old habits, I guess.” Her eyes flicked sideways. “Did it bother you?”

  “The only thing that bothered me is that I didn’t want either of us to get hurt.”

  Adele wrinkled her nose. “I might be rusty, but I’m not that rusty. But thanks for making me sound all chivalrous.”

  “I live to be the damsel in distress,” Natalie deadpanned.

  Adele laughed. “You were perfect. You distracted Kurt long enough for me to do what I needed to do even if the results were less than spectacular.” She recalled how she’d told herself she couldn’t think of Natalie as a real partner because she hadn’t been trained as a cop. That, Adele realized, was all wrong. “Besides, we’re a team in this…I gotta watch out for my partner, right?”

  Natalie nodded enthusiastically. “So long as it’s okay for me to do the same.”

  “Then that’s how we roll…together. And by together, I mean that I hate searching for things on the Internet so tomorrow you can pick up my slack in that department.”

  Natalie laughed again. “Deal.”

  They both yawned, but neither wanted to be the one to officially put the long day to bed.

  Natalie glanced down at Adele’s extended l
eg and her cane, which was leaning against the sofa. Then she let her gaze trail up a slender leg encased in black yoga pants, not stopping until she reached her hip.

  Adele felt Natalie’s eyes on her as though they were fingers brushing her skin. Her pulse quickened.

  “I hope this doesn’t sound creepy, but if you’d like, I could massage your leg. My grandfather had terrible arthritis, especially in his shoulders, and my grandma showed me how to give a great backrub to help ease his pain. This wouldn’t be too different.”

  It was a bold offer and Adele leapt at it. “Yes!” she said a little too loudly. “I mean, are you sure? Where…I…it might be awkward. You’d need to rub my thigh up high, near my hipbone.” She forced herself to shut up so Natalie could absorb her words.

  “I’m sure.” Natalie smiled kindly and nibbled on her lower lip. “Do you have oil or lotion or—”

  Adele nodded, her temperature rising so quickly she felt a little dizzy. “My God, the fire is too hot, right? I think it is. Yes. Hot.” The words tumbled out in a rush leaving Natalie staring at her…dumbfounded. Adele stood and jammed the fireplace poker into the flames and separated a few small logs.

  Dammit. That wasn’t embarrassing at all. The temperature is the same as it was five minutes ago when we were both chilled! “Umm…I’ll put on some loose shorts and get the massage oil.” She hoped the oil didn’t have an expiration date because she had no idea how old the bottle was. Okay, that was a lie. She knew exactly how old it was. The massage therapist from her physical therapy program, a tiny woman who was part healing fairy and part Nazi torture queen, had given it to her the day before she’d quit in a fit of anger, and fear, and self-pity. And she hadn’t used it since.

  With the tips of her ears still burning bright red, Adele quickly excused herself, but stopped only a few feet later. “Are you sure you—?”

  Natalie blew out a frustrated breath. “Go!” She made a shooing motion with her hands, but it was also obvious she was holding in a smile. “Get the oil. Neither one of us is getting any younger, and yes, I’m sure.”

  Adele nearly tripped on her own feet as she made her way into her bedroom. After standing in the middle of the dark room for a full minute, not knowing what to do, she unzipped her gray hoodie and tossed it on the bed, leaving herself in a pale green tank top.

  She brought the back of her hand to her forehead and felt the heat. She was already sweating, but at least in less clothing she’d reduce the chance of spontaneous combustion. Adele wiggled quickly into a different pair of underwear, and slid on a pair of loose, navy blue jersey shorts that were perfect to sleep in or for times when she needed to feel ultra cozy. Her clothes from Amelia’s were undeniably beautiful, but not the best for lounging around the house.

  Adele ran a hand over her thigh. Thank God she’d shaved her legs that morning.

  Grabbing an old towel and blanket from the closet and the bottle of massage oil from the very back of her nightstand drawer, she padded softly back into the living room, shoulders straight, chin high. Not meeting Natalie’s curious gaze, she spread out the soft blanket, then the towel on the floor between the sofa and the fireplace. “It, um, it will probably help if I’m stretched out when you do this.” She finally dared to turn around, knowing her cheeks were as red as the embers in the fireplace. “Is the floor okay?”

  “Of course,” Natalie said distractedly, taking the oil with a hand that Adele was sure held a tiny tremor. Natalie knelt on the blanket and sat back on her heels as she patiently waited.

  Adele situated herself on her back on the floor, positioning her bad leg on the towel and doing her best to relax. She stared at the ceiling, closing her eyes as she heard the lotion bottle top pop open and the sound of the liquid squirting. She expected to feel it hit her thigh in a cold rush, and when it didn’t, she opened her eyes in time to see Natalie warming the oil on her hands, a thoughtful look on her face.

  “Ready?” Natalie said, obviously doing her best to hold in a smile at Adele’s nervousness.

  “Sure,” Adele said nonchalantly, forcing her fists to unclench. What was making her ready to jump out of her own skin wasn’t the fact that she had a crush on Natalie. She was honest enough with herself to admit that was true, and handle it, even if it did make her act like a gangly teenager all over again. It was the mere idea of Natalie’s hands on her after feeling so alone for so long. The very thought made even a simple massage seem so intensely personal. And, okay, it was the crush too.

  Not reacting to Adele’s little jump when she first touched her, Natalie drew her glistening palms up Adele’s calf just past her knee, and midway up her thigh, applying steady, light pressure in order to spread the oil.

  Adele’s eyes fluttered closed at the tender touch. “Jesus Christ.”

  Natalie froze. “Everything okay?”

  “Y-y—” Adele cleared her throat. “Yes. Fine.”

  “Okay.” Applying more oil Natalie circled the sensitive skin on the back of Adele’s knee and gently worked her hands up Adele’s thigh, using her thumbs to press deeply along the muscle in slow, even strokes.

  After a few minutes Adele began to relax. “This feels,” her voice had dropped an octave without her permission, “really good, Natalie.” She laughed at the hitch in her voice. “Like scary good.”

  “I’ve seen how you’re hurting, and I’ve been itching to do something about it for days.” Natalie ducked her head, her hands never stopping their soothing rhythm. “But I’ve held back. I…well, after I told you about my former girlfriend, I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable or worry that I was hitting on you.”

  Disappointment. That’s what she felt. Adele found herself actually disappointed that Natalie wasn’t hitting on her. It was too bad too, because if Natalie were hitting on her, this would be a spectacular way to do it.

  She craned her neck up to look Natalie in the eyes. “I don’t think that. And you don’t make me uncomfortable.” And that was true except when Natalie smiled at her just so, making her heart squeeze tight in her chest. “You don’t have to worry.”

  The strange look on Natalie’s face was indecipherable, and Adele let her head fall back to the blanket, confused. Had she said something wrong?

  Natalie frowned at the tightness in Adele’s leg and added a bit more pressure. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “What exactly happened? I-I know you were stabbed. But what’s wrong with your leg?”

  Adele sighed. She was hoping Natalie wouldn’t ask her anything to make her embarrass herself again more than she already had, but it appeared that tonight she was having no such luck.

  “The blade was really long and went in near my hipbone. The crazy woman actually twisted it and tried to do as much damage as possible. It sliced through my ligaments and nerves and my iliac artery. I’d lost about forty percent of the blood in my body before I made it to the emergency room.”

  Natalie’s strong hands stopped, but after a deep, shaky breath, the massage continued again, her thumbs edging slightly higher.

  “I spent about three weeks in the hospital. The plastic surgeon did his best on the scar on my face the morning after I hit the ER. But within a couple of days, I got a wicked infection from the stabbing. Turns out the knife was not only a little rusty, but it had been recently used to cut raw meat.”

  Adele decided not to mention that the infection had gotten so bad that her father, the only practicing Catholic in the family, actually had a priest brought in for last rites. “Once I was well enough, I had reparative surgery on my leg. The muscles and ligaments have healed properly, or so the doctors think. But the scar tissue ended up being much worse than they expected. It puts pressure on the nerves and causes a lot of pain.”

  “The pain and your difficulty walking…” Natalie paused and spoke even more quietly. “It’s permanent then?” She applied more oil to her hands and studiously avoided Adele’s eyes. Adele knew it was to give her what little privacy
Natalie could so she could speak freely.

  Natalie’s fingers dug into Adele’s tense muscle and the heady combination of intense pleasure and a hint of pain caused her to gasp. “It’s…complicated.”

  “What does that mean? Complicated?” Natalie leaned forward on her knees, expertly applying her body’s weight to the task.

  Adele tensed, feeling the familiar urge to flee and avoid the issue. But it took less internal convincing than she thought it would to be able to answer. “It means that I could have had another surgery to try to repair things further, and I could have continued with physical therapy and rehabilitation, but I didn’t. I chose to move on with my life instead.” She knew she was being vague and incomplete, but she hoped it would be enough.

  Natalie frowned at Adele’s words as she carefully rolled up the leg of Adele’s shorts all the way to the hipbone, exposing the slender black string of a thong and a jagged scar that was at least three inches long.

  Adele knew it was significantly worse than the scar on her face, and that was bad enough.

  Natalie’s voice was barely a whisper. “Oh, Ella.”

  “Pretty ugly, right?”

  “No, it’s just…” Natalie pressed warm hands, slick with oil, over the scar, letting her body heat soak into Adele. “That must have hurt so badly. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

  The sweet words caused a rush of hot tears to fill Adele’s eyes and her throat to close. “It…yeah,” was all she could manage.

  Natalie nodded to herself and began to run her hands along the pink scar and into the flesh around it. Her touch was gentle but strong. She glanced at Adele’s face, watching for any reaction that meant pain. “Then let’s try to make it feel better.”

  As Natalie worked, Adele waited for the inevitable questions about why she hadn’t had the surgery and why she’d quit rehab. But they never came. Just when she was about to bonelessly dissolve into a puddle under Natalie’s relentless, heavenly ministrations, Natalie spoke again.

  “Can I ask you one more personal question?”

  Adele was so deeply lost in a haze of pleasure that she didn’t think twice about her answer. In this moment, she found herself willing to give Natalie absolutely anything she wanted. Anything to make her happy. “Same answer as before, Natalie. Of course.”